The Filipinos are very family-centered. Homes are composed not only of nuclear families, but of aunties, uncles, cousins, in-laws, and grandparents. It is part of the Filipino culture to nurture extended families – and perhaps this upbringing is where many of our wonderful values come from. But is this also why assisted living facilities in the Philippines bear a social stigma?

Yes, we take care of our own. Grandparents and great grandparents receive our full attention and care, a fact that the elderly population in the Philippines is thankful for. But let’s face it: sometimes, despite our efforts and good intentions, we may not always meet expectations and fall short of the care that our elders deserve.

Let’s take Renan, for example. He was a full-time office employee, working almost eighty hours a week to support his four young children and his aging father. Ever since his wife died, he has employed a helper to take care of household chores, given how he could only tend to his family before and after office hours.

His aging father suffered a stroke two years ago. Renan has hired a licensed caregiver to help his father and provide him assistance while the rest of the family was either at work or in school. Although Renan successfully brought home enough money to give his family a comfortable life, it seemed that his father did not get the attention and care he needed, especially because Renan’s father was used to having many other people around. Despite Renan’s efforts to care for him, his father started showing signs of clinical depression.

Renan, just like his fellow Filipinos, believed that there is no place like home. But he also knew there were instances when professional help was necessary, like when someone in the family falls ill and needs to be admitted to the hospital, or when, such as in Renan’s case, a parent is no longer receiving the best care at home.

He then brought his father to an assisted living facility where his father not only received medical care, but also met other people who, just like him, were always left without company at home.

His father soon showed signs of improvement. He enjoyed the company of his new-found buddies, playing chess on the patio or telling stories about bygone days. His father also got to spend more time outside, something he has always enjoyed even during his younger years.

Renan started to appreciate the value of assisted living facilities – that is, until his relatives started whispering behind his back. “He has abandoned his father,” they gossiped among themselves. “His father is going to stay there until he dies.”

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